belatrix

hope there's no bombs where you are now

March 22, 2025

Sometimes i feel weak

My mind races and all i can see is black. i myself am accursed.

then, i remember what i must to do

i remember where i come from

what i saw, how i felt

it can be a blessing or a curse

more often that not, its both

my life destined to repeat the lives of who came before

but i index to heavily on the past

and forget that i have agency

it is tempting to do so

nothing easier than letting your hands up and absolving yourself of any responsibility

tell me, my father, your mistakes so that i may avoid them.


March 27, 2025

had an interesting thought late last night.

here is something the media i've consumed has taught me

devalue yourself. take it light and non-serious.

make self-deprecating remarks, this is cool

very much an embodiment of chandler bing

of course, its unfair to caste blame solely on media

but i can't help but wonder if its true

these were not the stories men of yore grew up listening to, were they?

there are eerie similarities between this and liberal politics, somewhere in the latent space of my mind

i do not think this was a concerted effort

there is no one to hold responsible

this is simply a product of the times, times of abundance and peace

but these times may not last forever, so what can we do?

i do not know, but i will try my best